I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Randomize
