He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
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