Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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