I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I am spending my child support on dildos
this just has baby written all over it
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize