I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
is wine microwaveable?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
