I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize