I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize
