Don't make out with my wife yet
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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