She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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