Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
