Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
