she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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