You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
she smelled like a LAN party
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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