Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Randomize
