I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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