The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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