dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
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