just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
