You're so nebulous sometimes
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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