David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
