This is not my ceiling
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
