he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
