Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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