:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
