strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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