I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I just want nice things and good sex
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
