What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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