Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
