i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Randomize
