I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
