I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
