i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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