Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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