Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
