He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
