the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Randomize
