They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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