he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
