Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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