Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
