Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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