just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I still have a little drunk in my system
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
