I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
