These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
She told me I should be a condom model.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
