is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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