if only i could text you this smell
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Randomize
