you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
