if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
