There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
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