So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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