we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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