"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
