Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
