Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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