My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Randomize
