My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
