I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Randomize
