dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Text me some of your sweat
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