im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
