when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Fuck me I smell like cheese
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
