Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
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